On 20 January I wrote a piece which I intended to put on this Blog but never did:
It's now 0120 and the moon has slipped over the horizon and the air on the deck feels almost tangibly clammy. Which seems a bit odd because it's such a beautiful and clear night. I went onto the deck to think. That in itself is quite an achievement for me. I had a thought once before and look where it got me. Anyway I was having this thought when I realised that in 2005 when I came to New Zealand for the 'holiday of a lifetime' I not only never dreamed of spending so much of my life here I'm not sure that in my heart of hearts I really believed that I had that much more of a life to spend. No, I'm not being negative. I never have been that. I'm being realistic about how I felt when I was told that my cancer had returned and that, although it was not really measureable enough to locate, it was likely to be only a matter of time before something happened.
Of course time is strange. 'A matter of time' could be a month, a year or a decade. In fact a bus could get me first.
What I was really thinking about as I stood on the deck under the vast blackness that is the Universe, was how fortunate I am. How fortunate I have been all my life. I had wonderful, loving parents. I went to (but didn't make the most of) schools which were amongst the best Liverpool had to offer. Liverpool City Council subsidised my higher education and paid me hansomely whilst I undertook it. I've always had a good job and I retired early on a final salary pension.
But most of all I am fortunate above all other things to be rich. No. I don't mean that I have money. As Sue Marshall so rightly said, if we have food on the table, wine in our glass and, above all things, friends to share them with, then we are rich. I have all of those things.
And the greatest of these is friends.
It's now 0120 and the moon has slipped over the horizon and the air on the deck feels almost tangibly clammy. Which seems a bit odd because it's such a beautiful and clear night. I went onto the deck to think. That in itself is quite an achievement for me. I had a thought once before and look where it got me. Anyway I was having this thought when I realised that in 2005 when I came to New Zealand for the 'holiday of a lifetime' I not only never dreamed of spending so much of my life here I'm not sure that in my heart of hearts I really believed that I had that much more of a life to spend. No, I'm not being negative. I never have been that. I'm being realistic about how I felt when I was told that my cancer had returned and that, although it was not really measureable enough to locate, it was likely to be only a matter of time before something happened.
Of course time is strange. 'A matter of time' could be a month, a year or a decade. In fact a bus could get me first.
What I was really thinking about as I stood on the deck under the vast blackness that is the Universe, was how fortunate I am. How fortunate I have been all my life. I had wonderful, loving parents. I went to (but didn't make the most of) schools which were amongst the best Liverpool had to offer. Liverpool City Council subsidised my higher education and paid me hansomely whilst I undertook it. I've always had a good job and I retired early on a final salary pension.
But most of all I am fortunate above all other things to be rich. No. I don't mean that I have money. As Sue Marshall so rightly said, if we have food on the table, wine in our glass and, above all things, friends to share them with, then we are rich. I have all of those things.
And the greatest of these is friends.
Posts
Ah yes, but it takes a friend to be a friend! You have lots of friends because your friendship merits it...
ReplyDelete