Gripe About Banks

RABBITS.  Right.  I hope that brings me a bit of luck in my dealings with the bank tomorrow.

I wrote this at  0017 but left it until this morning on the basis of not doing things like this in haste.

In the UK I bank with the Bank of Scotland.  Of course that’s only a name now.  It became the Halifax and then when that company’s incompetence put it down the pan it became part of the marginally less incompetent Lloyds Bank empire.  I stayed with it because the branch in Stornoway is staffed by lovely people many of whom I’ve known since they joined in the ’70s as fresh-faced tellers and who know who I am when I walk in and they sort any problems.  But I’m in NZ for the next 5 months and beyond their help.

This evening I rang the bank.  After ignoring all the automated requests for information I got through to Daniel.  Nice chap.  Not the chap I needed though. ‘Sorry this is credit cards. You want telephone banking.’  ‘I thought this was the telephone banking number.’  ‘It is but you are through to credit cards.’  I didn’t even bother to ask why. “I’ll put you through.’  Eventually I was introduced to Craig.  He’s probably a nice guy too.  Shame about the job.  But at least he has one and someone has to do it - up to now.

‘I want to transfer £10,000 to my NZ account with the ASB.’  ‘Ah.  That’s a problem.’  ‘Why?’  ‘Because you can’t transfer more than £5,000 at a time now.’  No point in asking why.  It’ll be Government regulations.  ‘Why don’t you do it on-line.’  ‘I tried.  It says that I can’t.’ ‘Ah yes.  If you are setting up a new payment you’ll have to clear it with a customer service agent.’  ‘It’s not a new payment and it wouldn’t even let me get anywhere near a CSA.’ ‘ Should have done.’  ‘Well it didn’t.’  ‘OK we’ll do it now.  I’ll transfer you to the proper section…… some time passed…. I’m sorry the system’s down.  Please call back later.’  ‘It’s 2300 hours here.  Have you any idea when later might be.’  Silly question.  ‘No.’  Sensible answer.  I know because it's not the first time that's happened.

So now, after a 15 minute call half way around the world I know that at some time - as the exchange rate weakens yet again - I will have to spend another phone call and probably go through the whole rigmarole again.  I also know that instead of the usual one fee of £28 ? that I usually pay I will have to pay that fee times 2. 

Because I’m just one of millions who lost money by owning bank shares (‘They are a rock solid gold chip investment’) I’ve never complained.  After all it was the only significant single share holding I had.  My B of S shares were valued around £10 each.  I now have many more shares issued by Lloyds in the buy out.  I have no idea what a Lloyds share is worth.  17p? I can’t even be bothered looking it up.  My loss was liveable with and insignificant compared with many.

I thought I’d add that last paragraph just to indicate just how I’m feeling tonight.

Because tonight the bank has really pissed me off.