Banks - The Last Rant

I rang the Bank again this morning so that I could make the transfer. Firstly I spoke to Ricki.  I think that was her name.  She had the thickest Manchester/Lancashire accent I have ever heard.  I was brought up toasting 'The Queen, Duke of Lancaster' so I should have been able to understand.  But I couldn't.  Fortunately as she was the wrong bit of Telephone Banking she transferred me to Richard who transferred me to Bob.  All that involved holding on 'as a valued customer'!  After about 40 minutes had elapsed I had managed to arrange the transfer of the money.  It used to take me about 5 minutes but, well you know what Banks are like.  No wonder they want everything done on line.

However.  There is always a 'however'.  I had managed after all that waiting in queues when I was, of course, doing other things, to use my NZD account number instead of my GBP account.  Silly me.  I could hardly blame the Bank for that. 

So I rang again and got Micheal. He had a broad Irish accent so probably came from Liverpool.  He transferred me to Kirsty.  She was absolutely delightful.  So delightful in fact that I didn't even notice if she had an accent.  She has, I hope, managed to sort it.  I'm not sure though because 13 hours later the money still hasn't left my UK account.

Gripe About Banks

RABBITS.  Right.  I hope that brings me a bit of luck in my dealings with the bank tomorrow.

I wrote this at  0017 but left it until this morning on the basis of not doing things like this in haste.

In the UK I bank with the Bank of Scotland.  Of course that’s only a name now.  It became the Halifax and then when that company’s incompetence put it down the pan it became part of the marginally less incompetent Lloyds Bank empire.  I stayed with it because the branch in Stornoway is staffed by lovely people many of whom I’ve known since they joined in the ’70s as fresh-faced tellers and who know who I am when I walk in and they sort any problems.  But I’m in NZ for the next 5 months and beyond their help.

This evening I rang the bank.  After ignoring all the automated requests for information I got through to Daniel.  Nice chap.  Not the chap I needed though. ‘Sorry this is credit cards. You want telephone banking.’  ‘I thought this was the telephone banking number.’  ‘It is but you are through to credit cards.’  I didn’t even bother to ask why. “I’ll put you through.’  Eventually I was introduced to Craig.  He’s probably a nice guy too.  Shame about the job.  But at least he has one and someone has to do it - up to now.

‘I want to transfer £10,000 to my NZ account with the ASB.’  ‘Ah.  That’s a problem.’  ‘Why?’  ‘Because you can’t transfer more than £5,000 at a time now.’  No point in asking why.  It’ll be Government regulations.  ‘Why don’t you do it on-line.’  ‘I tried.  It says that I can’t.’ ‘Ah yes.  If you are setting up a new payment you’ll have to clear it with a customer service agent.’  ‘It’s not a new payment and it wouldn’t even let me get anywhere near a CSA.’ ‘ Should have done.’  ‘Well it didn’t.’  ‘OK we’ll do it now.  I’ll transfer you to the proper section…… some time passed…. I’m sorry the system’s down.  Please call back later.’  ‘It’s 2300 hours here.  Have you any idea when later might be.’  Silly question.  ‘No.’  Sensible answer.  I know because it's not the first time that's happened.

So now, after a 15 minute call half way around the world I know that at some time - as the exchange rate weakens yet again - I will have to spend another phone call and probably go through the whole rigmarole again.  I also know that instead of the usual one fee of £28 ? that I usually pay I will have to pay that fee times 2. 

Because I’m just one of millions who lost money by owning bank shares (‘They are a rock solid gold chip investment’) I’ve never complained.  After all it was the only significant single share holding I had.  My B of S shares were valued around £10 each.  I now have many more shares issued by Lloyds in the buy out.  I have no idea what a Lloyds share is worth.  17p? I can’t even be bothered looking it up.  My loss was liveable with and insignificant compared with many.

I thought I’d add that last paragraph just to indicate just how I’m feeling tonight.

Because tonight the bank has really pissed me off.

N Z Banking Catches Up

In many things New Zealand banks have been ahead of the world in customer services because, being a small, enclosed economy things like electronic point of sale were trialled here. Certainly my bank account doesn't even have a cheque facility and I pay everything electronically.

Debit cards have been in use in the UK for many years. They have the advantage that one can use them anywhere and for anything that Visa can be used. In New Zealand debit cards are new and the bank I use - ASB - only introduced them a few weeks ago. Until now I have paid using a non-chip cash card or a credit card. Now I have scrapped the credit card and have the freedom of a debit card. And, hey, you can use one of your own images on it. So mine will look like, you've guessed it, this.