I'll put my cards on the table. I think I am middle-aged. Of course if you don't know how old I am in years then that won't help you judge the accuracy of my opinion. Of course you may never have thought about it. After all, why should you?
What caused that outburst? An email exchange (you really don't need to know the details!) with a dear friend:
Me: Payment for a (very) misspent youth and younger middle age now that I've reached older middle age.Dear Friend: We're middle aged? Who are you kidding?Me: Haven't they told you yet. The 60s are now the old 50s.Dear Friend: Nope. Anyway, 50 is quite old.
WHAT!?
I've sort of thought about this all day and decided to do some research.
Google it and the dictionary definition is: Noun. The period between early adulthood and old age, usually considered to be from 45 to 65. (So, my dear friend, 50 is still on the young side of middle age).
Apparently the medical definition is between 40 and 60. (So, my dear friend, 50 would be in the middle of middle age).
Frankly Wikipedia wasn't that helpful on the subject.
However Robert L Adams who seems to have cornered middle age has a considered essay on the subject at that link and concludes that middle age is that point in your life when you shift from seeing the future in terms of your potential and begin to see it in terms of your limitations.
The problem with that definition for me is that I still see my life in terms of the future whilst being very much aware of my limitations. So I'm not sure whether I'm middle-aged or not.
What really settles it for me, though, is that I was, according to my Mum, born with my pension book in my hand. Which I think was a way of saying that I was born old. Well it took me until about 60 to start getting young and I was just about there at 65. So I've decided I'm not even middle-aged yet.
As my Mum said it was bad manners to ask a lady her age I'll not pursue the question. However if anyone wants to offer an opinion on how old they consider themselves to be they are most welcome so to do.
Posts
We are not middle-aged. You are deluded and old. I, on the other hand,........ Ah, how do I become deluded?
ReplyDeleteI think proper old age is when children or grandchildren no longer provide the excuse to do things like fly kites, go down water slides in the swimming pool, sledge down a grassy hill and, in the case of grandchildren, do things which their parents think are dangerous. Having said that, doing those things without injury, in my case still needs some work.
Well I still fly kites (I even have my very own) and go down water slides on the other hand if it involves running then forget it: my lungs are better than they were at 16 (though there's less of them!) but my legs sure are not.
DeleteI'm with your thoughts, Graham.....and more so, the number is of no importance, it's what the mind and body working together can speak of. I always wonder when I'll 'feel' my age in years - and, what that really is ;)
ReplyDeleteHeather I couldn't agree with you more.
DeleteOut of curiosity I checked to see what the Swedish Wikipedia had to say. Turns out they found five different definitions of middle-aged (we have a direct equivalent of the word in Swedish): 40-60, 45-65, 35-50, 40-65 or (upper middle-age) 50-70. They also add that there is a difference between chronological and biological middle-age, which may vary a lot between individuals.
ReplyDeleteTaking into account that middle-age can obviously happen at any point between 35-70, and that you were born old, and lately seem to be growing younger (possibly a side-effect from confusing time by going back and forth between time zones), the statistical error margin in your case could probably stretch well into your eighties, which might turn out to be your new fifties. Good luck with that.
As for me, I think I'm somewhere between 25 and 85... Hard to tell from day to day, sometimes!
That's interesting Monica: a completely different article and not just a translation. Physically I agree with your last sentence!
DeleteWow - I love the reasoning, Monica!
DeleteI just heard yet another opinion on this fascinating topic on the radio: The 60s are the new 40s!
DeleteThere's the odd day when my back and shoulder try very hard to trick me into believing that I am actually 84 years old instead of the 44 my Mum says I am (and she should know, since she was there when I was born in the year she states as 1968). But most of the time, I do feel healthier, stronger and fitter now than when I was 30. Back then, I worked too many hours, didn't get enough exercise and wasn't at my happiest.
ReplyDeleteThings have changed much for the better since then (or, to be more precise, I changed them). Mathematically speaking, I suppose I am middle-aged. Biologically, if you look at my bones, they are old - the rest of me is not :-)
That's a coincidence Meike. My Mum was there when I was born too! Seriously, though, you walk and exercise a lot and that has to be a Good Thing. A health body certainly puts less stress on the mind.
DeleteSince it seems that we need a mathematical equation to solve this question, and I'm not a great lover of maths, I think I will say I'm as young as I feel.
ReplyDeleteToday I felt like 25 so I spent the entire day gardening, cutting grass and trimming shrubs and raking leaves etc. Now tonight I feel like 65 with all my aches and pains.
You see. You are a positive person Virginia. Of course I knew that anyway. You are a 'how young' person and a 'half full' person not a 'how old' and 'half empty' type!
DeleteThis comment has been removed by the author.
ReplyDeleteHow old I feel is like a moving target. It changes daily, sometimes hourly. And can range from childishly young to horribly old. Right now it's definitely middle aged but I can feel a touch of 'old' coming on.
ReplyDeleteYes, Pauline, I age about 10 years during a fitness session.
DeleteHello!
ReplyDeleteI just would like to give a huge thumbs up for the great info you have here on this post. I will be coming back to your blog for more soon.
man and van orpington
I've reported all your other identical comments in your various persona as spam. This one is staying to make sense of Kay's post. Not that you'll ever read this comment. I wonder if you realise just how much people dislike spammers? Not good advertising.
DeleteMan and van tried all mine as well - I get really peed off with knocking out about 20% of my comments every day.
DeleteHey!
ReplyDeleteI got that SAME EXACT message from Wasim Ahmed. Isn't it just WONDERFUL that he gave you a thumbs up too and that he will be coming back to your blog more soon? :-)
I bet you can hardly wait, you old coot you!
HAHA
(Hey, it takes one to know one.)
They are a pain in the butt Kay but easily deleted as a rule. Pauline gets masses. I get very little....so far.
DeletePS Less of the 'old coot' if you don't mind. Middle-aged coot if you must refer to me as a bird.
DeleteOne of my school friends suggested a few of us meet up at The Fiveways next year so long as our wives don't mind listening to a load of old farts renminiscing. I thought 'Hey, I'm not an old fart - that's my brother!!!'
ReplyDeleteSeriously, when I watch long legs spinning round on Strictly Come Dancing I feel 21. When my long legs spin around I feel about 90. It's all a matter of perspective.
I don't think it's very nice to call your brother an old fart!
DeleteMaybe the late baseball player Satchel Paige had the right idea. He said, "How old would you be if you didn't know how you was?" (Baseball players are not notorious for their knowledge of grammar, but it sounds better left the way he actually wrote it!)
ReplyDeleteHave a great day, GB -- whatever age you decide to be today!
Today, Carol, I've been so many ages I couldn't begin to explain! The more I think about what SP said the more I think he had a really good point. This evening (it's just before midnight) I'm not sure I know how old I am and I do know when I was born. That probably tells you something!
DeleteWell, that's a post that got us all talking! I change far too much to pin my age down for more than an hour or two. I'd love to say the changeableness is teen hormone fluctuations but sadly, it's probably the erratic dying throes of estrogen...
ReplyDeleteBut you'll always be young at heart Katherine 'cos you are that sort of person.
DeleteFunny, my daughter and I just had this conversation where she told me, "Mom, I'm middle aged. Can you believe you have a middle aged daughter?"
ReplyDeleteWhat!?! Excuse me, what does that make me? I'm not buying it. True, I definitely think in terms of limitations, but plan on making the second half (ha!) as full as I can. I'm workin' on it, anyway.
Remember the saying: "When asked if he felt like an old man, he replied, No, I feel like a young man with something the matter with him." I totally get that!
Lisa if your daughter wants to think she's middle aged just remind her how inconsiderate that is of her given that you are only just into middle age yourself. This should rejuvenate her and restore you to your true age in life.
DeleteHey GB!
ReplyDeleteYou can delete that spamming guy if you want to, and then delete mine too, no worries!
Do you know the telegram that Cary Grant received from the studio on his birthday? "How old Cary Grant?"
Here was his reply: "Old Cary Grant fine, how you?" When someone asks me this question, this is how I reply, I suggest we all should do the same!
Nah. The craic was good, Kay. In any case these guys know that most will get deleted a soon as they appear and they get their main coverage from the fact that everyone who had subscribed by email to a post will get a copy even if it is deleted. CJ gets loads and has comment moderation. I dislike using that more than I dislike the spam because most comments are made without the benefit of reading the other comments before you post your comment. Some people don't read them anyway but I like to. The difference between CJ and I is that as a rule I look at my posts frequently and CJ isn't always able to do that.
DeleteCJ and 'me', dear boy.
DeleteThat'll be a big OOPS then Marcel
DeleteIts only us pedant's what notice such trivia.
DeleteGet your red pen on that one!