Thankful Thursday

It has just occurred to me that this is the last Thankful Thursday post of 2012.  Another year is drawing to a close.  Another year when those of  my generation are closer to the end of our lives than the beginning.  No, I'm not being morbid.  That's not in my nature.  It's a simple statement of fact.  It does, however, make one think.  It has made me stop this evening and look out of each of the windows of The Cottage at the various things I can see.  It has made me think about the fact that these are things I am so very lucky to be able to see.  It is now over 14 years since I was diagnosed with cancer: a cancer that, had it not been treated despite the fact that there were no symptoms and no indication that it was there, might have claimed my life within months rather than years.  It makes one think that every day is a day to be savoured.

Since then Dad and Mum and my Uncle have died, Carol's and my son Andy has died and, in fact, countless others have died as well.  Two relationships which were very special in my life have also ended.

On the other hand I have become closer to my son than I could ever have imagined and consolidated my friendship with my brother.  I have old friends whom I treasure beyond anything I can think of (and some of whom I don't deserve).  I have made some of the most wonderful friendships possible with people I didn't even know in 1998.   Since that date I have acquired a surrogate family and a second Country and lived a life which back then I could never even have dreamed of. 

If I died tomorrow I would die one of the most fortunate people on this planet.

For that I am very, very thankful. 

I thought that I would just add a few photos from the 120,000 plus that I have taken since 1998.  They have been chosen from the digital images on the computer and are very much what I have spied in my hasty trawl over the last hour or so:

Gaz before our climb up the Clisham, Isle of Harris, 2004

On top of The Clisham, Isle of Harris, 2004: the perfect day - we could see from St Kilda to Cape Wrath to the Ardnamurchan Peninsula

The aftermath of The Hurricane, January 2005 two days before Pat and Dave moved to The Island

Pat, a born and bred townie, up out of her comfort zone in 2005. Now she's embraced Island life more than most.

My New Zealand home

The Californian coastline at sunset, 2004. Perhaps not the most beautiful sunset I'd ever seen but an unforgettable holiday with a dear friend (it was leap year and on the 29 February in California I received a proposal of marriage - but I'm still single)

One of my longest-standing friends and a daughter - Ontario, Canada at, you guessed it, Halloween, 2005

A sight I never thought I'd see: San Francisco and the Golden Gate Bridge 2004

Catriona aged 4

Heli-hiking on the Franz Josef Glacier 2005

And as Bugs Bunny would say "That's all folks.".

I always think that it's a Good Day when I wake up in the morning.  The day I don't wake up will be a real bummer.  So today started as a Good Day.  In fact I suppose it's like the presumption of innocence in English Law (and many other legal codes) or a presumption of Original Sin.  How fragile they can all be.  The first thing I did (well it wasn't actually the first but I can't cope with inaccuracy of 'one of the first things I did') was take the bin liner out of the kitchen waste bin (trash can for those from the US who still use the old English).  As I tied the top the bottom split open.  'Irritating' was one word which flashed through my mind.  As, however, that's the worst thing that happened to me so far today I'm a very happy bunny.

In fact I've spent a lot of the day either reading blogs or writing comments.  In particular I read a post on Frances Garrood's blog entitled A Letter From Death Row.  Years ago when I was an idealistic youth I spoke very publicly against capital punishment (a principal I still hold to) so this was of immediate interest to me.  Two hours later I stopped reading about capital punishment in the US and thinking about the arguments I used back in those days and eventually commented on Frances's post.  

My day was going to be spent sorting photos from Art Deco Weekend and Northland and writing some posts but now I have to get some household chores attended to and cook dinner for the family who are returning from Gisborne this evening.  I've had the two oldest boys (17 and 15) for dinner for the last two nights.  What delightful company they are.

Thankful Thursday

SP at Secretly Skint blogged yesterday on Oradur-sur-Glane.  My first comment on SP's post was "I first went to Oradur-sur-Glane over 10 years ago and it was probably one of the most emotionally difficult experiences I'd had.   Subsequent visits have been less stressful but nevertheless have been an incredible reminder of man's inhumanity to man. I did quite a full post on it on Eagleton Notes back in 2008.".  One of the things that I was reminded of was the image of a person in the recent Bosnia/Croatia conflict being crucified on their own door.  That is a mental image which has never left me.  How the British UN soldiers trying to keep some sort of order who found that must have felt I cannot begin to understand.

Bearing in mind that I read this not long after I'd got up in the morning I knew that it was going to affect my thoughts for the day and it did indeed.

This evening I revisited it and noticed that the last of many comments was by SP and was "It's a wonderful world, it's the people who spoil it.".  How apposite.

I have led a very sheltered life in that I've never been involved in such conflict where man has tried to annihilate man and do it as cruelly as he possibly can.

Today I am truly thankful for that.

I would be even more thankful if I felt that man would learn from these atrocities and stop.

I Don't Know Where To Start

This last two weeks has been a real rollercoaster.  I've arrived back in my New Zealand home to a special family and a special welcome.  I've been away to a croquet tournament for which I was totally unprepared.  Two people who have touched my life have died.  I have not spent a single evening  alone in The Cottage.   I have not spent anywhere near as much time as I would have wanted in Blogland.  I have not seen as much of some friends as I would have liked.  I have made adventurous plans for a weekend away exploring new places.  I haven't sorted the Study yet and I haven't finished the week's ironing.  The fact that I've done no housework pales into insignificance.

The two services for those who had died were completely different: one a full requiem mass and the other a celebration of a life.  Bother men were very popular.  Both men were loved by many and deserving of that love in a way that few are.  Both services were attended by more than an ordinary large church could hold.

I cannot pay a personal tribute to Nick.  I did not know him well enough.   I can say that I admired him very much because I knew him by reputation and all that he did for people and for his wife, Colleen whom I know.  The eulogies at his mass were very moving. 

Ralph touched my life directly for a few days:  days in which I learned a lot and admired much.  For that I was privileged.  He was a remarkable man.  A man of letters, a teacher, a coach, a breeder of successful racehorses, a husband, a father, a grandfather and a friend to name but a few of his achievements.  The celebration of his life took place at the Awapuni Racecourse Silks Lounge in Palmerston North.  There was a picture show, films of races, stories and memories by his children and grandchildren and friends, a song by a friend and grandson, and an opera singer to mark his departure from the lounge carried by his family.  There can have been few dry eyes.  There were many laughs.

So I returned this evening after a round trip of 400k with Jayne (a friend from croquet and a mutual friend of Judy, Ralph's wife) for company.  I arrived home in time for One News at 6pm.  What did I find?  Wendy had been round with the ride-on.  The flowers that had been placed here when I arrived home (two weeks ago!) had been replaced by new ones.  And the carpets had been vacuumed!! 

Once again I count my blessings.

It Seems Like A Long Time

The Funeral for Colleen's husband will take place today at St Thomas More Catholic Church.  The celebration of the life of Ralph in Palmerston North will take place on Sunday at the Awapuni Racecourse.  I didn't really know either men well but I do know some of  those who will be touched by the deaths: wives, children, grandchildren, friends, colleagues and many more whose lives they touched.  It has been a sad week.  But I cannot dwell on the sadness because it reminds me too much of the loss of Andy and the negativity of such feelings.  When I eventually depart this mortal coil I want people to be happy that they've known me (well, I hope so anyway) not sad that I've gone.  Although I fully accept that there will be some whose feelings are quite the reverse!

Anyway back to this week.  I've missed Blogland  where people I know have become such a part of my life that I really miss not keeping up. I've read one, perhaps, two blogs this week and I may be struggling to read many more for a few days.  My days seem to be more full than ever.  When I think of people like Heather with a family and a job and Blogland and all the other things she does and the conflicting needs of her self and her family; when I think of Cynthia who has to fit in studying with several jobs and a life;  and when I think of those whose lives are constrained by constant pain and fatigue and illnessI realise just how lucky I am that I am able to make the choices.   I chose family who are here with me, I chose croquet which has become a part of my life and I accept the reality of life here which is busy and full.  But none of that stops me missing my friends in Blogland.

So what's happened since I arrived back from New Plymouth (about which I will blog in due course)?  Well I've had children and dogs and family 'things' more than ever before.  It's been wonderful.  I've never really seen myself as a grandfather and now to have that role - albeit a surrogate one - is terrific.  Yesterday was a good example of a day: a wonderful day.

Woke.  Checked emails.  Breakfast.  Shower.  Phone call or two.  Children arrived  (as a family we are down from 3 to 2 cars temporarily until the 'new' one arrives from Japan next week so Wendy has to go to the Practice with Martin instead of separately as they usually do) with Misty. 

Off to the school bus

Mrs Smith (the driver not the horse!) with her pony and trap.  Unfortunately the pony does not like dogs.  Especially not yappy fluffy rugby balls on legs.  Misty slipped her lead.  Fortunately the outcome was ok: the pony was impressive in its tollerance.  Drama averted.

 

The school bus which had been waiting for the drama to end arrives and everyone goes off to school. 

 

And I'm left with Misty - what's that saying about butter not melting?

 

One phone call later and my mat has been well and truly attacked!

At 9am I set off for a morning's croquet.  Because it was my first day back on a Club Day I was presented with the silverware for club events that I managed to do reasonably well in last season:

 

It was ironic therefore that (althogh we won the first game that goes in the local newspaper!) I played as badly as it is possible for a person at my level to play and covered myself in whatever the opposite of  glory is.

And that was just the morning.   I arrived home at lunchtime, collected Misty from The House, and set out for an afternoon's catching up.   Wendy arrived home early and asked if I would look after Catriona.  Of course.  When Wendy arrived home at about 6.30 she popped down and I put a gin and tonic in her hand.  We caught up on the day's events.  Wendy got up to go home and make dinner for her and Catriona.  Where were all the others?  Gone to Sea Scouts.  So I made poached eggs and we sat and chatted and then watched Coronation Street or Corrie as it is generally known (for those of you from the US that is the longest running UK TV soap opera and it's also followed here in NZ).

Later that evening I had a long chat on the phone to a friend and eventually went to bed around midnight.

Days don't come much better than that.

But I still missed Blogland.

Sad Days.

The last few nights without Colleen have been strange for Jayne and I.  It's been hard knowing that life has been carring on for us whilst Colleen has had to deal with the trauma of a sudden illness and then the death of her husband on Sunday morning.  Another friend though croquet from Palmerston North is also experiencing the trauma of an imminent death.  I feel so deeply for the two of them because I can imagine exactly what they are going through.

It has brought home to me just how much New Zealand is a home to me.  When one knows people well enough to attend funerals one is at home.

A Very Long Day

Some days are longer than others. That's just how it is. Yesterday was one of the long ones. Not, you understand, because the number of hours I was awake was any greater than usual. In fact it was considerably less. I was up at 0630 but in bed by a very New Zealand-like 1030 - some time before my usual 0100. And it wasn't just long for me.

Yesterday the children (Jamie no longer counts as a child for this purpose) broke up and it was the Leavers' Assembly which, this year, I decided not to attend. Instead I played a doubles croquet match - part of the Club championship. We lost our match. I was then going to pétanque but something made me turn around and I came home instead. I wonder what made me do that.

I was just finishing lunch when Wendy drew up with the children. She was obviously upset. One of our neighbours - she was 41 years old and with small children - had collapsed and died at the pre-school (across the road from Pukatapu School where the children go) earlier. As so many of the parents were at the Assembly it became a very emotional occasion. By the time they arrived here the children were very subdued. We sat down and had an impromptu lunch and chat.

Such an incident happening to someone so young and so suddenly generates so many emotions and so many thoughts. It was decided that we should not be negative and mope but be thankful for every minute that we do have to enjoy time and, particularly, time with the children. So we just set off to Ahuriri (part of Napier on the coast) and for three hours sat on the beach, played, ate slushies and chips and were thoughtful, a bit teary at moments and very thankful at others.

And that was only half of what happened yesterday. It was an emotionally long day. Waking up seemed a very long time ago.

Jump!

Butter wouldn't.....

No fear

I'm lighter than you!

How do you like being up there then?

I never could do that