Friday, 26 November 2010

Time to Go

Carol's and my son and Gaz's brother, Andrew, died in 2006 but his details are still in my computer's address book.  This really makes no sense and it's not a form of denial it's just that I don't feel able to remove that link.  Although it's not in that category (I sincerely hope) for the last 5 months The Archduchess has not blogged.  After a fairly traumatic time in her life she just stopped blogging.  That was over 5 months ago.  I have to ask myself whether the memory of a very interesting Blogger and a very talented young lady is now to be erased from my list of bloggers or whether she should continue to be there on my list as a memory.  I am not a worrier but I would like to know that she is safe and well.

That actually has started me thinking about the whole issue of bloggers and the relationships we all have.  Family excepted, I have made some very good friends through Blogland.  Some, like Pauline, I have met and some I have corresponded with.  Some like Deedee from Deedee, Cut Adrift have just melted in to the background having not blogged for a long time.

Some have entered new phases in their lives and continue with occasional posts and it's good to know what's happening but one doesn't expect significant participation in our blog world.

Blogland is a very strange and unusual place and as Andrew would have said "It's a funny old world Dad."


  1. That post moved me to tears for if it was either one of my sons we were talking about, I know I couldn`t bear to erase any evidence that they had existed, even little details like their names in my address books. It is a funny old world but sometimes a lot more pleasurable when we can share stories and feelings with our bloggy friends. The kindness of strangers can sometimes be all we need.

  2. I can empathise with you on this. I too have had a rough couple of years and not only are the deceased still in my address book they are on my mobile phone. I must be really weird. Give me a hell of a turn if they rang.
    I look at blogging as a way to polish skills..........not very effectively in my case but what the hell it's fun.

  3. You know me pretty well, through our amazing ability in the blog world. I know that my life would not have been the same if I'd not been blessed to find you on my path, Graham. I completely understand every bit of thought you've shared here and I, often, feel the same feelings. I miss the ability to interact with my first few wonderful friends here. Some only occasionally blog now and then, some I used to hear from on a daily basis and they always seemed to warm my heart - like a good cup of tea would on those days when nothing else seemed to. Your words do that for me, always create a smile in my heart.

    Don't you dare ever lose me on your list {boldly stern face with a crack of a smile and twinkle in my eye - picture it?!}

    Love to you, dear friend.

    You are that to me, Graham. Even my family knows this. They speak of you and John now and then when sharing with others, some of the things that we've learned through the two of you about your beautiful areas of the world.

    By the way...I must tell you, I was able to try Marmite the other day. Thinking it must be as tasty as chocolate, not that it tasted like chocolate, but it must come close after all of the hype with it between you and John. Never would I have guessed that it tasted like it did. Now, I wonder what I might like "so much" that you two would react as I did when tasting. hmmmmm

    :) {big hugs - and - I'm never away for long, just distracted by life at times but never will I hide from you, while here on earth}

    I would find it difficult to remove Andrew's details as well. I have a difficult time thinking of cleaning out my mother's home, of the things that she loved so much, so I leave it for now and revisit often ♥

  4. I could just copy most of what Heather already wrote! ♥ (Btw I still can't quite make up my mind about Marmite.)

    As for finding it hard to remove Andrew from your address book, I don't find that strange at all...

    I still have links on my own private dashboard list to blogs which will never be updated again because the blogger is dead - and I never even had a private correspondence with him, only by blog comments. I did remove him from the sidebar list on my blog though, after a while.

    I also did that recently with someone who had not updated her blog for many months for unknown reason. Forget her I will not, though, since she was one of my very first random contacts in this Blogland and we discussed some interesting things (dreams, for example!).

    As for you, my friend, you'd better keep on keeping me informed of your whereabouts... ;) ♥

  5. Brilliant post.. Been reading the archives of the archduchess...I too hope she is ok.
    I wouldn't remove Andrew's links...unless they upset you. They are a lovely small reminder of him when you see them, living on in your heart and thoughts...
    My friend lost her mum two years ago. Today she is tackling "the clothes", already weepy from an anniversary of her death, her birthday, and crying over the 29 miners. I know it will be tough day.
    My daughter is still overwhelmed and lost in grief for many things... Lost love, her horse, her father. I feel helpless... But another long evening of talking has helped fractionally... Going to try cognitive therapy! Small steps...
    Thank you for your support...xx

  6. It's a funny old world indeed. As you know I had pretty much all of Andy's possessions after he died. I've had to get rid of most of them due to lack of space or just because they were going to waste. I kept his guitar for 4 years and one said one day I might even play it. I knew deep down that it would never have another note played on it if I kept it so I let it go to someone who would actually put it to good use.

    As someone pointed out though it's the small things that keep Andy in my heart. I have a little wooden fish in my bathroom that used to reside in his bathroom. I see it every day I'm there and it reminds me of him. His collection of books which I am still getting through slowly and probably will be for years to come.

    When memories are all you have, it's probably best to keep some links, lest we forget forever.

  7. Thanks so much to you all for your comments and support. They were so kind and thoughtful.

  8. A thoughtful post GB...............making me think for sure.

    I have several contacts and 'things' that remain in my life from people that have passed. I knew I had to keep them for a while, now, and over time maybe my feelings will change.

    I have thought about this blogging issue long hard over the past few months. I feel connected to many whom I have never met now. Funny thing isn't it.
    I also worry if I haven't heard form them in a while. I miss their posts and when they finally write again I am relieved. I know that people pass my blog and read , even if they don't always comment. I actually said to my daughter to update my blog if I suddenly get struck down by the local bus or similar.

    Bloggy friend love and kind thoughts to you GB. Listen to your heart :-)

    ps wonderful comments.............and much love to Fiona. Keep loving each day Fi, they must get better and better xxxxx

  9. A thought provoking post, GB. I don't think it is at all strange that you keep your links to Andrew. I'm sure I could never remove any connections to either of my sons.

    You are proof that wonderful friendships do exist in this funny old blog world. Just look at the comments above! I can't begin to image the consternation if you just suddenly disappeared! I bet you would remain on the blogroll of most of your friends! I still have two links to bloggers who will never blog again!

    Oh, and I did laugh at Heather's comments about Marmite. She should have tried Vegemite - much better!

  10. It's comforting to come back to this space and visit...rather like stopping in at a next door neighbor's...
    It's nice to know that the friendship and the dialogue continues...

  11. what a lovely postng Graham. I too still have a special person who is no longer here on my phone. Cant bear to delete them. -1c here, been snowing and very icy, gritters working hard..s

  12. It IS a funny old world! I loved your post. It was very touching, and I agree with you. I tend to hang on to connections from those people I love who are no longer with me. Things like phone messages. Even the bad ones.
    I find a lot of comfort in the blog posts of friends. You are definitely one of them. Thank you.